A message on leadership and mental health advocacy
Originally published in May 2022 by Born This Way Foundation.
The most important, accidental mental health support I ever had was my first psychoanalyst, my mother, Dr. Alina Enista, PhD. The phrases “mental health,” “therapy,” and “e în regulă să nu fii bine” (or, “it’s okay to not be okay,” in Romanian) were spoken at almost every family meal, and I am committed to continuing that open, stigma-free, and empathetic communication with my own family and at work with Born This Way Foundation.
Talk about the hard things.
Racism, money, mental health; there are many topics we don’t talk enough about. Young people tell us their parents may have every intention of talking about mental health but parents often don’t model the type of behavior youth request. I want those sharing with me to know they’ll be met with understanding, a lack of judgment, and if needed, resources. How will they learn how to believe me when I say that? By watching me fumble through life; with vulnerability, empathy, and kindness.
Know where to go for help.
In seventh grade, a friend ran away from home. She called my house, and I immediately pulled the miles-long phone cord into my mom’s office. While I wish you could all hop on the phone with my mom, there are many other resources available and we should know at least some. If it’s the Suicide Prevention Hotline or the nearest safe place to sleep and eat, the folks around us need many things and knowing how to access resources is essential. I direct people to our resources on Born This Way Foundation’s website and in my purse, I always carry a Find Your Anchor Box.
Take care of the world.
Every morning, my husband and I walk our kids to school and then we walk back, together. Some are quick walks and other days, we dilly dally and pick up trash from our neighbors’ yards. That is a way we care for our neighbors and in turn, ourselves. This generation of young people is hopeful in their ability to build a kinder, braver world and solve so many issues. They continue to lead collaboratively, build with innovation, and leverage the creativity, diversity, and hope intrinsic in this generation to pave a new path forward.
That smile you gave, the kind words you shared, the time you spent volunteering; we need you here and we need every one of those actions.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself.
I love to nap, would do almost anything for Oreo cheesecake, and have an encyclopedic knowledge of all Bravo franchises. I rest, I waste time, I indulge, I go to therapy, I cry, and I laugh.
When I began this work ten years ago, no one talked about kindness to oneself. No one talked about the ways we may struggle with our own mental health; only that other people did. We are deserving of everything we hope and do for other people. Please don’t forget yourself among the priorities, especially when it comes to your mental health.
